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Living On Life’s Terms

What does living life on life’s terms mean?

In a few words, living our life’s on life’s terms is basically the acceptance of who we are, with our desires and dreams, while honoring the mystery and vastness of fate.

When fate is an impediment to our desires, we get the amazing opportunity to learn. We get creative, discover and new avenues to get us what we want. We learn about love, compassion, self- awareness, forgiveness, patience, and faith.

Living on life terms means realizing that we cannot avoid suffering, trials and losses, but we can find meaning in them to move forward with renewed purpose and more serenity.

What abilities do we need to cultivate to be living on life’s terms?

1) Discernment: We need to cultivate the ability to discern what is in our control, and what is out of our control. When our ego feels audacious, it may mistakenly decide that it has everything under control. On the other hand, when our ego is fearful, it may have the wrong impression that little or nothing is in our control. This is a life-long lesson.

2) Acceptance of how little is in our control: Acceptance is the mysterious answer. Acceptance what is’ is not a passive state, it’s an act of recognition that things are the way they are… It’s one of the most powerful places we can find ourselves in. This is where we learn to humbly accept our limits, and we let go of a sense of control and entitlement. Most of us are ONLY open to accept life on our terms – we accept life only “IF” we were healthy enough; thin enough; serene enough; financially stable enough; in love enough; fit enough; successful enough. In short, we tell ourselves that acceptance is a state of mind reserved for when life works the way we want it and expected, rather than the amazingly freeing ability to experience life every day just as it unfolds.

3) Shift Perspective: rather than seeing what is out of our control as simply unfortunate, we can explore the possibility of discovering the opportunity presented by life with curiosity and wonder.

4) Self-Compassion: We don’t fear risks. We fear how we will treat ourselves if a risk we take generates an unfavorable outcome Therefore, in order to accept life’s terms of living our desire, we will need to learn to forgive ourselves when our actions do not produce the expected results.

5) Letting Go: letting go of the things we cannot control, letting go of expectations, letting go of blame, letting go of complaint, letting go of self-pity, letting go of comparisons, letting go of denying, letting go of resisting, letting go of anger, letting go of agendas, and letting be our experience just be what it is.

6) Trust: Trust in a Power Greater Than Yourself. Trust there are so many things that are happening in an extraordinary way in our lives. Trust that we are equipped with everything we need to face whatever life throws at us. Trust that we will be guided to a prompt and positive solution to what we are dealing with.

7) Control How We Respond: we can decide how we are going to respond to what life brings to us, moment to moment. Exploring our choices, discovering the opportunities, and taking full responsibility for our decisions and actions, is key to living a life of empowerment, serenity, and freedom.

Let the light of our dreams and wishes illuminate the path we belong on. When our desire is accompanied by acceptance for that which lies beyond us, we agree to life’s terms, and live a life well lived.

9 Tips For Living Stress-Free

By Veronica Vidal

We all deal with stress in some form in our lives. Our job, a family illness, money troubles, kids issues, and so much more.

These are common triggers. However, stress is different for everyone. What stresses you out may not even bother someone else, and vice versa. Still, our bodies react the same to stressors. That’s because the stress response is our body’s way of dealing with tough or demanding situations. It causes hormonal, respiratory, cardiovascular, and nervous system changes. This is known as the body’s “fight-or-flight response.” It’s this chemical reaction that prepares our body for a physical reaction because it thinks it’s under attack. Because stress will always be part of our lives in one way or another, we need to know how to manage it day-to-day.

The good news is that we can all learn how to handle stress and lead a happier healthier life. Here are some reminders to help you experience less stress and more calmness in your life:

1) Am I Stressed? ~ Recognize Stress
The first step to reducing your stress is recognizing you are stressed. Since we are always dealing with stress in many forms it can sometimes be hard to recognize. Sometimes you might be able to tell right away when you’re feeling under stress. Many people need a health care professional to tell them their back pain or chronic headaches are a result of stress, not another issue. The important thing is to start by asking yourself or to begin to look for signs or symptoms of stress.

2) Set priorities for your life
Focus on what’s important. Let the other stuff go. Also, identify tasks that you can share or delegate, then ask for help. Set limits appropriately and learn to say no to requests that would create excessive stress in your life.

3) Avoid Perfectionism
Remember, things don’t have to be perfect. Sometimes “good enough” is just fine.

4) Accept that there are events that you cannot control.
Practice acceptance of things you cannot change, Keep a positive attitude.

5) Get enough rest and sleep.
Your body needs time to recover from stressful events. Further, the lack of sleep itself is a stress trigger factor. 7 to 9 hours of sleep, and if needed, try to squeeze in a nap in. Get your “z”s

6) Don’t rely on alcohol, drugs, or compulsive behaviors to reduce stress
One of the biggest problems people face is they rely on poor coping mechanisms. While stress eating or binge drinking alcohol may temporarily provide some stress relief, they do not solve the underlying issue. Likewise, they end up causing more stress in the long term. Find a reliable and healthy way to relieve the stress in your life.

7) Practice Yoga, Relaxation and Meditation
Yoga practice, relaxation techniques, and mindfulness meditation can improve your concentration and regulate your mood, which will make you better able to cope with stress. Focusing on your breathing during yoga can do wonders for both your body and your mind.

8) Reframe your view of the situation:
Not necessarily changing the facts, but reframing how you think about the facts.

9) Make time for hobbies, interests, and relaxation.
Laugh! Look for the humor in your everyday life, or watch a funny video. Listen to music. Choose tunes that relax or revive you. Dance at home, sing alone, connect within, and be lighthearted!

Continue to stay safe, strong, and serene as we transition to our new normal.
Your loving support, referrals, and loyalty fill me with immense gratitude.

With Infinite Love

Vero Vidal
www.VeroVidal.com

4 Tips For Working On Acceptance

By Veronica Vidal

Acceptance is a very active process, there is nothing passive about it, it’s not passive resignation but an act of recognition that things are the way they are.

Acceptance doesn’t mean we can’t work to change the world or circumstances, but it means that unless we accept things as they are, we will try to force things to be as they are not, and that can create an enormous amount of difficulty AND pain.

Acceptance is about the courage to look at a situation right in the eye and say:” Yes, I have this problem”.

Acceptance is coming to terms with things as they are. Acceptance is facing reality as it is, which allows the possibility of moving in the direction of change or to be at peace with what is.

1) Avoid judging yourself, others and/or your circumstances.

Emotions are natural and everyone has them—acknowledging them can help you understand yourself better and move forward. Choose not to judge what happens to you. Instead, believe that everything happens for a reason and that better things will always follow. That’s the beginning of true acceptance. Develop awareness of your judgmental inner voice and cultivate a non-judgmental attitude.

2) Stop pushing away unpleasant thoughts and feelings.

Stop resisting. So much of our anguish is created when we are in a resistance state. Repressing our thoughts and feelings will not make them disappear. Resisting the reality makes us depressed, and eventually depressed.

Resistance and denial will not move us forward, nor will eliminate the undesirable. We don’t achieve acceptance in a moment. We often have to work through a mirage of thoughts and feelings – sometimes frustration, anger, outrage, shame, self-pity, fear, or sadness. Think about what you have to think; feel what you need to feel. Be mindful of what crosses your mind and heart, then, release it. A thought or feeling is not forever. The more quickly we can accept a feeling the more quickly we can move on to the next. Acceptance is the magic that makes change possible. Acceptance opens the door to growth, change, and moving forward.

3) Practice letting go.

How can you accept a devastating loss or change? We have two choices:

One is to hold on to the way things were. But if we can’t accept life the way it is, we have a big problem, because we cannot change what already has happened. Resisting the flow of life will only make us even more unhappy.
The other choice is to have the courage to accept life the way it is, which even though challenging, this process will empower us enormously.

4) Let beauty in.

When you’re focused on everything that’s lacking, it’s hard to fully notice, appreciate, and enjoy what’s present in abundance. Choose to appreciate what you have as opposed to giving too much attention to what you’ve lost.

Practice mindfulness, look around you; there’s beauty all around. Beaches and mountains, birds flying across the sky, music, and culture, blueberry ice cream, kissing in the sunset, and lifelong friendships. There is so much to live for; open up to what is truly beautiful and important in life.

Most of us keep the blinds shut, closing off to life. Take on the curiosity of a child. Open up and explore life as if it were your first day here, regardless of what you’ve had or lost. You can choose to focus on either. What’s your choice?

Yes, acceptance is a choice—a hard one most definitely, but a choice nonetheless. I know it’s hard to practice acceptance when you deeply wish things were different. But the truth is, sometimes we can’t change our reality, even if we try.

So instead of staring at the closed door in front of us, or getting tired and bruised while we try to break it down, let’s turn around and see how many other windows we have open.

WHAT ARE SOME ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE THAT NEED ACCEPTANCE?

Build Your Mental Muscles by Doing Your Mental Push-Ups

BUILDING MENTAL STRENGTH

By Veronica Vidal

Most of us understand how we can develop physical strength but are not really sure over the steps to take to build mental strength. Building mental strength is similar to building physical strength. Everyone has the ability to build mental strength, and just like building physical strength, it requires dedication and hard work. With practice, anyone can develop the ability to regulate negative thoughts, control destructive emotions, and behave productively despite the circumstances. Learning how to flex your mental muscle is key to reaching your greatest potential in life. Whether your goal is to become an elite athlete, or you strive to be a more patient parent, mental strength will help you reach your goals.

1) PRACTICE MINDFULNESS: It’s impossible to stay strong when you’re going over and over again at something that happened yesterday, or forecasting that horrible things are going to happen tomorrow. Mindfulness is about staying present in the moment. With regular practice, you’ll be less distracted by yesterday’s problems and tomorrow’s worries. and you’ll increase your ability to focus and to enjoy the present moment.

2) BE IN CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS: While there’s nothing wrong with being in a bad mood sometimes, staying stuck in a negative rut can be a slippery slope: Sadness can lead to self-pity, anger can turn to bitterness, and mild anxiety can become paralyzing fear. Decide that you’re going to be in control of your emotions so they don’t control you.

3) PRACTICE GRATITUDE: Focus on the good things in your life, not the things you lack. The simple discipline of engaging in gratitude will undoubtedly shift your focus back to the many good things you already have.

4) LET GO OF SELF-LIMITING BELIEFS: It’s pretty hard to be mentally tough when you’re constantly beating yourself up. Self-limiting beliefs are any beliefs that hold you back in some way. When you recognize a self-limiting belief cropping up in your mind, quickly silence it by telling yourself that it’s not true and then back that up with some positive affirmations:

“I’m not smart enough to…” REPLACE BY SAYING: “I am smart enough; I may just need to do some more research first.”

“I’ve tried that before, and it didn’t go well, so I must just be bad at…” REPLACE BY SAYING “Just because I failed at this last time doesn’t mean I’m going to fail this time. My past does not dictate my future.”

When we allow negative self-talk to flood our minds, we’re effectively working against ourselves.

If you want to keep your mind strong, you have to remember one key truth: self-limiting beliefs are thoughts, NOT facts.

5) TOLERATE DISCOMFORT FOR A GREATER PURPOSE: Mentally strong people tolerate discomfort when it serves a greater purpose. Whether they’re exercising when they feel tired, or they’re delivering a speech when they feel terrified, they use their discomfort to become better.

6) STOP ALL- OR – NOTHING THINKING: There is always room for improvement, but be careful not to start thinking you’re a complete failure just because you’re not a complete success in all the ways you hoped to be. You win some, you lose some. That’s life.

I hope you can use these tips to assist you in building mental strength. Paying attention to these steps on a regular basis, eventually, it will become second nature to you.

5 Steps for Letting Go

Letting go is about accepting what is happening right now, and not worrying about what will come up tomorrow.

Fully accepting the situation as it is without constantly wishing it would be different, is the way to get on the road of being OK. And this isn’t limited to accepting situations. We have to start to accept people for who they are as well.

Remember, every day we have a choice to keep on holding on just a little longer or conclude that today is the day we will finally let go.

What do you want to let go of?  …anger?… fear?… resentment?…judgment?… sadness? the past?… the need to be right?… the need to control?… guilt? …the need to ask for advice?…addiction? … the need to be a victim? …

Think about it what in your life, is no longer serving you?

HOW TO WORK ON LETTING GO?

Here’s a 5 step process you can work through to loosen the grip and “let go”:

  1. Close your eyes and take ten deep breaths to calm and center yourself. Just allow your body to breathe however it needs to.
  2. When you feel calm, think about the thing you want to let go of, the thing you want to release. Feel the feelings that come up.  Don’t hold anything back.
  3. Focus on the strongest feeling. Exactly where do you feel it in your body?  All emotions create homes in our bodies which create physical sensations (pain, heat, cold, numbness, tightness, etc.).
  4. Open your eyes and start writing whatever comes up for you in a journal. Pen and paper work best for this process (no electronics).
  5. In your journal, answer these questions:  What do you want to let go of?  What patterns would you rather not repeat?  Can you see the difficult experience differently? What would you gain by letting go of this particular issue?

This process is like peeling an onion. In order to give your subconscious mind time to work, repeat this process on a weekly basis until you feel that you can truly let go and move forward.

However, it is not so easy for everyone, to take LET GO and move forward,  and that is why I want to offer you my coaching services, to support you. Together we’ll develop the correct attitude, discover what is holding you back, how to come into the present, and work in the habits that limit you so that you can enjoy what is unfolding right in front of you so that you can have the life you want!

Wish you Love, Strength, Freedom, Health, and Success!

In Gratitude,

Vero Vidal