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Accepting Change

Why must things change? Why can’t everything stay the same? Sometimes we wonder…

Do you find yourself continuing to fight against change and resisting situations that lead you to a different path?

We constantly face all kinds of changes; some good, some challenging, and some hard that are forced upon us….

So, we all know that change is inevitable and necessary … but nevertheless, we resist. Do you know why? Fear is the main reason we cannot accept change, fear of the unknown, fear of the uncertainty.

Accepting change, therefore, is not sudden thing we do; it takes many stages of personal transition to find the courage and face our fears. As we allow ourselves to turn through the changing curve different stages, we enable ourselves to move positively forward, where acceptance is the ultimate outcome.

Why is it important to accept change?

Accepting change allows us to adapt better to the situations and become more flexible. Accepting change opens the door to countless blessing and possibilities. And the better able we are to accept change in what is happening in our world, the easier it will be for us to live our best life.

How to start accepting change?

1) Surrender to the words: “I don’t know.”

When you surrender to “I don’t know what’s next.” you open yourself to the endless possibilities that will come. If you allow the space and patiently sit in the “I don’t know” area—which Buddhists call “nothingness”—then, something beautiful will be born.

2) Ask yourself: “What is the opportunity here?”

If you look, you will find it, and change will become something to appreciate and embrace rather than to fear and resist. Remind yourself that , you always have control over how you choose to respond to things. When you respond with an attitude of curiosity, and optimism, you’ll find it so much easier to deal with and thrive during the change.

3) Stay moving.

When things in our life change, it is easy to freeze and stop everything. Take some time to mourn, but then keep moving. Even if you don’t know what’s next, be it in work, health, or love, explore and stay curious. It’s easy to want to just hide under the covers, so do that a little, then take a hike, sign up for a new experience, do something, stay in motion.

4) Lean on your practice.

Consult with your higher-ups (your faith, your guides, your meditation, your breathing techniques, your yoga practice, and your prayers, …whatever you turn to when things get difficult.)

5) Externalize the change.

This one will help you embrace change at a deeper level. Something as simple as getting a haircut, change the arrangements of the furniture around your room, or painting the wall with a different color will reinforce your changes to translate to your surroundings.

6) Allow yourself to feel the fear – and don’t let it stop you.

Give yourself permission to acknowledge and experience whatever fears show up along the way, and then take action anyway. Take one small baby step after another into the unknown – and you will be surprised at how quickly the path forward will become clear to you. Approach the change with both fear and courage – and consider that this may be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.

Practicing Self-Compassion

By Veronica Vidal

“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.” – Jack Kornfield

Self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail or feel inadequate, rather than punishing ourselves with self-criticism (Neff, 2003a). We cannot always achieve exactly what we want. When this reality is denied or fought against, suffering increases in the form of stress, frustration, and self-criticism.

Self-compassionate individuals are those who recognize that imperfection and failure are inevitable, and thus tend to be more gentle with themselves when confronted with distressing or unpleasant experiences rather than getting angry when life falls short of self-imposed ideals (Neff, 2015).

With self-compassion we mindfully accept that the moment is painful, and embrace ourselves with kindness and care in response, remembering that imperfection is part of the shared human experience. This allows us to hold ourselves in love and connection, giving ourselves the support and comfort needed to bear the pain, while providing the optimal conditions for growth and transformation.

5 Ways to Practice Self-Compassion

1: Practice Forgiveness ~ Stop punishing yourself for your mistakes. Accept that you are not perfect and be gentle with yourself when you are confronted with your shortcomings. There is no sense in punishing your future for the mistakes of your past. Forgive yourself, grow from it, and then let it go.

2: Employ a Growth Mindset ~ Self-compassionate individuals understand that there is potential for learning and growth in every mistake they make (Neff, 2003). Do you view challenges as impossible obstacles or as opportunities to grow? Employ a growth mindset, and embrace rather than avoid challenges, persist in finding meaning in them, and don’t give up on yourself.

3: Express Gratitude ~ Feeling gratitude is very powerful (Emmons & McCullough, 2003). Rather than wishing for what we do not have, there is strength in appreciating what we do have, right now. You can choose to write a gratitude journal. By focusing on our blessings we employ a gentler inner voice and move the focus away from our shortcomings and outward to the world, with all its beauty.

4: Be Mindful ~ Mindfulness has been found to have a positive impact on self-compassion, as it has a tendency to lessen self-judgment (Kabat-Zinn, 2014). Strive to always be in the moment and to be aware of what is happening right now, without judgment and labeling. Allow what you think or feel to have its moment. Don’t give it the microphone or hide it in the corner. Allow it to come, and then, without attachment, let it go.

5: Make Peace with Your Inner Critic ~ Self-criticism is a common problem, and not one to be overlooked. The way you talk to yourself plays a vital role in well-being. Luckily, the problem of the harsh self-critic is fixable. So, next time you do not rise to the expectations you have for yourself, take a moment to pause and reassess.

Be mindful of the difficult emotions that arise. Forgive yourself and recognize that you are only human. See if you can identify how to do it differently next time. Be grateful for the opportunity you had in the first place and for your persistence to try again.

Finally, accept yourself. You are not perfect. And yes, you likely could have done better. But chances are, you did just fine. And often, that’s more than enough.

Continue to stay safe, strong, and serene as we transition to our new normal.

Your loving support, referrals, and loyalty fill me with immense gratitude.

With Infinite Love

Vero Vidal
www.VeroVidal.com

5 Ways To Shift Your Perspective

By Veronica Vidal

Shifting Your Perspective

There’s a well-known saying that perception is reality. How we see something becomes our truth, which can be self-limiting and self-defeating.

Perceptions are influenced by a number of factors: experience, personal values, judgments, information (as well as lack of information), and our needs and desires. Yet, it is possible to expand our perception of situations, events, and behaviors by changing our perspective.

Changing perspectives is relatively simple, but not necessarily easy. Every day we face challenges that trigger our stress levels to escalate. The ability to step back and take a different view of a situation provides us the power to change our minds. What if by changing our perspective on situations that upset, or frighten us, we could be happier, more confident, and less stressed?

Here are some coaching tools to shift your perspective

1) Stop Thinking In Terms Of “Should: Thinking in terms of “should,” and how certain things should be, can lead to disappointment. We all tend to see things from our limited perspective, but our view of how things ‘should’ be causes most of the suffering in our lives,” Avoid this perception for greater happiness.

2) Think Of The Bigger Picture. By widening our lens to the bigger picture we begin to see the panoramic view of a situation, which allows us to take into consideration aspects that we did not see before.

3) Ask yourself the question: “What can I learn from this? What’s the opportunity right here?” Sometimes, life isn’t smooth-sailing. You hit a bump and things don’t go according to plan. Train yourself to instead of fixing your mind on how hard things are, to shift your perspective to that of LEARNING from the situation. Shift your mind from disaster and drama to learning, rebounding, and opportunity-seeking. Doing this raises your mood and energy, and trains you to rebound faster and become more resilient. Remind yourself, that amidst the greatest difficulties lie some of life’s greatest opportunities.

4) Stop Complaining: Whatever the issue is, whenever you feel like complaining, fold your thumb, bite your tongue, do something, and make sure it stops you from letting out that complaint. When you listen and try to understand more than you complain, you are beginning to see things from different perspectives.

5) Keep a gratitude journal: With all the chaos going on around us, it can be really easy to slip into a pattern of negative thinking. Sometimes, the only way out of that pattern is to shift our perspective of things. One very effective way to do that is to keep a gratitude journal, which is a scientifically-proven method of improving your health and wellness. This is a simple and powerful way to change your perspective. Over time, you’ll find that your list expands and that finding things to be thankful for becomes easier and easier.

“It’s not what you look at that matters; it’s what you see.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

Change Your Perspective, Change Your Life!

Continue to stay safe, strong, and serene as we transition to our new normal.
Your loving support, referrals, and loyalty fill me with immense gratitude.

With Infinite Love

Vero Vidal
www.VeroVidal.com