4 Tips For Working On Acceptance

By Veronica Vidal

Acceptance is a very active process, there is nothing passive about it, it’s not passive resignation but an act of recognition that things are the way they are.

Acceptance doesn’t mean we can’t work to change the world or circumstances, but it means that unless we accept things as they are, we will try to force things to be as they are not, and that can create an enormous amount of difficulty AND pain.

Acceptance is about the courage to look at a situation right in the eye and say:” Yes, I have this problem”.

Acceptance is coming to terms with things as they are. Acceptance is facing reality as it is, which allows the possibility of moving in the direction of change or to be at peace with what is.

1) Avoid judging yourself, others and/or your circumstances.

Emotions are natural and everyone has them—acknowledging them can help you understand yourself better and move forward. Choose not to judge what happens to you. Instead, believe that everything happens for a reason and that better things will always follow. That’s the beginning of true acceptance. Develop awareness of your judgmental inner voice and cultivate a non-judgmental attitude.

2) Stop pushing away unpleasant thoughts and feelings.

Stop resisting. So much of our anguish is created when we are in a resistance state. Repressing our thoughts and feelings will not make them disappear. Resisting the reality makes us depressed, and eventually depressed.

Resistance and denial will not move us forward, nor will eliminate the undesirable. We don’t achieve acceptance in a moment. We often have to work through a mirage of thoughts and feelings – sometimes frustration, anger, outrage, shame, self-pity, fear, or sadness. Think about what you have to think; feel what you need to feel. Be mindful of what crosses your mind and heart, then, release it. A thought or feeling is not forever. The more quickly we can accept a feeling the more quickly we can move on to the next. Acceptance is the magic that makes change possible. Acceptance opens the door to growth, change, and moving forward.

3) Practice letting go.

How can you accept a devastating loss or change? We have two choices:

One is to hold on to the way things were. But if we can’t accept life the way it is, we have a big problem, because we cannot change what already has happened. Resisting the flow of life will only make us even more unhappy.
The other choice is to have the courage to accept life the way it is, which even though challenging, this process will empower us enormously.

4) Let beauty in.

When you’re focused on everything that’s lacking, it’s hard to fully notice, appreciate, and enjoy what’s present in abundance. Choose to appreciate what you have as opposed to giving too much attention to what you’ve lost.

Practice mindfulness, look around you; there’s beauty all around. Beaches and mountains, birds flying across the sky, music, and culture, blueberry ice cream, kissing in the sunset, and lifelong friendships. There is so much to live for; open up to what is truly beautiful and important in life.

Most of us keep the blinds shut, closing off to life. Take on the curiosity of a child. Open up and explore life as if it were your first day here, regardless of what you’ve had or lost. You can choose to focus on either. What’s your choice?

Yes, acceptance is a choice—a hard one most definitely, but a choice nonetheless. I know it’s hard to practice acceptance when you deeply wish things were different. But the truth is, sometimes we can’t change our reality, even if we try.

So instead of staring at the closed door in front of us, or getting tired and bruised while we try to break it down, let’s turn around and see how many other windows we have open.

WHAT ARE SOME ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE THAT NEED ACCEPTANCE?

Practicing Self-Care

By Veronica Vidal

Sometimes it seems like we spend so much of our energy taking care of life’s endless details that there’s no time left to focus on our health and well-being. If we really want to make self-care a priority, we simply have to develop certain habits–and let go of habits that sabotage us.

The first step in knowing how to take care of yourself is to learn to identify when you start going off track. The body will tell you this information if you listen. But it’s like learning a new language for many of us who have spent years ignoring the messages our bodies are telling us.

Basically, self-care is taking the time to care for yourself in whichever ways work best for you. What are some of the ways you can take care of your self?

Let me remind you of some ways you can use to take care of yourself:

1) Speak kindly–especially to yourself ~ Speak kind, truthful words, and notice how your mindset changes. Most of us spend a lot of time criticizing or judging ourselves, our bodies, our past, and our experience. Even the smallest incident can bring on a wave of negativity. The way we use speech creates energy patterns that infuse the body and send out signals into the environment. If you are constantly lashing out in criticism–even if it is only in your mind–you are germinating a toxic inner environment. Develop awareness of your critical inner voice and cultivate a non-judgmental attitude.

2) Practice Yoga ~ Yoga postures, breathing techniques, relaxation, and meditation practices keep us centered during times of uncertainty. When we are relaxed, our organs function optimally, which boosts our body’s capacity to fight invaders and heal faster. Yoga can truly help during these times. This isn’t just speculation; countless research shows yoga can lessen anxiety and depression symptoms, lower stress hormones, relieve pain, and improve emotional regulation.

3) Prioritize sleep ~This is such an easy and quick way to introduce self-care on a profound level. It’s amazing more of us don’t do this. Notice I didn’t say: get enough sleep. Most of us can function on less-than-optimal sleep, and convince ourselves that we are getting enough shut-eye. But to prioritize sleep, we start looking at all the ways we sabotage our rest cycle through stimulants, computer screens late at night, unresolved emotional issues, taking on too much, and generally not being aware of our natural rhythms. Try a phase of making sleep your #1 priority and see how your attitude shifts. Rest; Rest is key to keep distressed down and immunity up. SLEEP. SLEEP. SLEEP. 7-8 hours a night – if suffering from insomnia practice Yoga Nidra meditation.

4) Gratitude ~ Start a gratitude journal and write 5 things you are GRATEFUL for each and every day.

5) Eat Plenty of Fruits and Vegetables: PLANTS, PLANTS, PLANTS. 8 to 10 servings – combining vegetables, fruits, nuts, whole grains, and legumes is recommended as a minimum.

6) Manage Stressors ~ We pick up habits from the people we spend time with, and without notice, many times, we tend to please others at our expense. To take care of your self learn to say “no.” This benign little word can be very empowering. Get clear on what supports your well-being and what stresses you out. You might want to add “thank you.”. This is key to developing nourishing relationships + setting boundaries with unhealthy ones.

7) Repeat Positive Affirmations  Out Loud or Silently ~ May I be well, May I be happy, May I let go of the past, May I let go of the uncertain future, May I be healthy, May I be protected, May I be at peace.

Continue to stay safe, strong, and serene as we transition to our new normal. Your loving support, referrals, and loyalty fill me with immense gratitude.

Build Your Mental Muscles by Doing Your Mental Push-Ups

BUILDING MENTAL STRENGTH

By Veronica Vidal

Most of us understand how we can develop physical strength but are not really sure over the steps to take to build mental strength. Building mental strength is similar to building physical strength. Everyone has the ability to build mental strength, and just like building physical strength, it requires dedication and hard work. With practice, anyone can develop the ability to regulate negative thoughts, control destructive emotions, and behave productively despite the circumstances. Learning how to flex your mental muscle is key to reaching your greatest potential in life. Whether your goal is to become an elite athlete, or you strive to be a more patient parent, mental strength will help you reach your goals.

1) PRACTICE MINDFULNESS: It’s impossible to stay strong when you’re going over and over again at something that happened yesterday, or forecasting that horrible things are going to happen tomorrow. Mindfulness is about staying present in the moment. With regular practice, you’ll be less distracted by yesterday’s problems and tomorrow’s worries. and you’ll increase your ability to focus and to enjoy the present moment.

2) BE IN CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS: While there’s nothing wrong with being in a bad mood sometimes, staying stuck in a negative rut can be a slippery slope: Sadness can lead to self-pity, anger can turn to bitterness, and mild anxiety can become paralyzing fear. Decide that you’re going to be in control of your emotions so they don’t control you.

3) PRACTICE GRATITUDE: Focus on the good things in your life, not the things you lack. The simple discipline of engaging in gratitude will undoubtedly shift your focus back to the many good things you already have.

4) LET GO OF SELF-LIMITING BELIEFS: It’s pretty hard to be mentally tough when you’re constantly beating yourself up. Self-limiting beliefs are any beliefs that hold you back in some way. When you recognize a self-limiting belief cropping up in your mind, quickly silence it by telling yourself that it’s not true and then back that up with some positive affirmations:

“I’m not smart enough to…” REPLACE BY SAYING: “I am smart enough; I may just need to do some more research first.”

“I’ve tried that before, and it didn’t go well, so I must just be bad at…” REPLACE BY SAYING “Just because I failed at this last time doesn’t mean I’m going to fail this time. My past does not dictate my future.”

When we allow negative self-talk to flood our minds, we’re effectively working against ourselves.

If you want to keep your mind strong, you have to remember one key truth: self-limiting beliefs are thoughts, NOT facts.

5) TOLERATE DISCOMFORT FOR A GREATER PURPOSE: Mentally strong people tolerate discomfort when it serves a greater purpose. Whether they’re exercising when they feel tired, or they’re delivering a speech when they feel terrified, they use their discomfort to become better.

6) STOP ALL- OR – NOTHING THINKING: There is always room for improvement, but be careful not to start thinking you’re a complete failure just because you’re not a complete success in all the ways you hoped to be. You win some, you lose some. That’s life.

I hope you can use these tips to assist you in building mental strength. Paying attention to these steps on a regular basis, eventually, it will become second nature to you.

Bringing Positive Energy Into Your Life

By Veronica Vidal

All over the world, there has been a serious energy shift these past few weeks. The pandemic, the senseless violence, and the riots touched many of us at a more profound level than we even realize. It is so easy to look around and notice what is wrong. It takes practice to see what is right. We’ve become skilled at labeling what’s wrong with ourselves, our life, our work, our day, our relationships, our conduct, other people, our world.

We want to be realistic, and our goal is to identify and accept reality. However, this is often not our intent when we practice negativity. The purpose of negativity is usually destruction.

Negative thinking empowers the problem, it takes us out of harmony, sabotages, and destroys. It has a powerful life of its own. So does Positive Energy.

Positive Energy is the acknowledgment of the negative but then choosing to focus on the positive. At its root, it is simply the belief that despite the current circumstances, things will work out favorable in the end.

A positive mind comes from a heart full of faith.
Positive Energy heals, conducts love, and transforms. Choose Positive Energy.

To stay positive when facing challenges and negative situations, here are 9 things you can do to help revive your positive energy:

1) CHOOSE TO FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE: Each day, ask yourself what’s right, what’s good- about other people, your life, your work, your day, your relationships, yourself, your conduct, our world.

2) STAY PRESENT: “Don’t worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will take care of itself” – Jesus Christ

3) PRACTICE GRATITUDE: Focus on the good things in your life, not the things you lack. The simple discipline of engaging in gratitude will undoubtedly shift your focus back to the many good things you already have.

4) HELP OTHERS: When you begin helping others, sharing your talents, time, and money, you will find yourself shifting into positive energy right away. The practice will give you a finer appreciation for what you own, who you are, and what you have to offer.

5) LAUGH EVERY DAY: Purposefully find something to laugh about. When you laugh, you release a happy hormone called oxytocin. It’s the hormone that uplifts us as we share experiences with others. Even just making yourself smile will put you in a better place.

6) GO ON NATURE WALKS: Getting enough sunlight fuels the brain, and boosts the production of serotonin. Make a habit of doing nature walks, listen to your footsteps, breathe in the fresh air, marvel at the wildlife. and focus on sounds outside – hearing nature sounds promotes positive thinking. Focus on all of your senses. This will instantly bring calmness and ease your mind.

7) PRACTICE MINDFUL BREATHING: Follow the sensation of your soft breath as it goes in and out your nose. Don’t judge yourself nor obsess over the content of the thoughts. Just keep coming back to observing the sensation of your slow breath.

8) STOP ALL- OR – NOTHING THINKING: There is always room for improvement, but be careful not to start thinking you’re a complete failure just because you’re not a complete success in all the ways you hoped to be. You win some, you lose some. That’s life.

9) PRACTICE COMPASSION: Clinical studies show that compassionate feelings, activities, and tasks perpetuate gains in overall well-being, higher levels of happiness, and self-esteem, as well as a marked decrease in depression.

I hope you can use these reminders to help you stay connected with your Positive Energy, and commit to greater awareness and management of your own emotional state. You won’t regret it, it is such an important task for living a healthy and happy life.

Cultivating Mindfulness ~ Staying in the Present

By Veronica Vidal

Why Focus on Mindfulness?

Mindfulness is the practice of purposely focusing your attention on the present moment—and accepting it without judgment.

Mindfulness is now being examined scientifically and has been found to be a key element in stress reduction and overall happiness.

Mindfulness can help relieve stress, treat heart disease, lower blood pressure, reduce chronic pain, improve sleep, alleviate gastrointestinal difficulties, treat depression, substance abuse, eating disorders, anxiety disorders, and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Mindfulness improves overall well-being!

Here are 6 simple steps to practice mindfulness anytime, anywhere.

1)    FIND A PLACE that feels calm and quiet to you
2)    SET A TIME LIMIT. Use an alarm or your smartphone to set between 2 and 10 minutes. (beginners do just 2 minutes)
3)    REMAIN STILL. Commit to a comfortable and stable position during your meditation.
4)    FEEL YOUR BREATH. Follow the sensation of your breath as it goes in and out your nose.
5)    NOTICE WHEN YOUR MIND IS WANDERING. When you notice your mind is wandering, simply return your attention to the breath.
6)    BE KIND. Don’t judge yourself nor obsess over the content of the thoughts. Just keep coming back to observing the sensation of your breath.

Note:  In addition to formal meditation, you can also cultivate mindfulness informally by focusing your attention on your moment-to-moment sensations during everyday activities. This is done by single-tasking—doing one thing at a time and giving it your full attention. As you floss your teeth, pet the dog, or eat an apple, slow down the process and be fully present as it unfolds and involves all of your senses.

5 Dimensions of Well-Being

What does well-being look like to you? When you envision someone who is “well” and “healthy” what comes to mind? What factors do you think influence wellness?

  1. Emotional Well-Being: How can you become more effective in these abilities? The ability to accept yourself and successfully cope with the challenges life brings; ability to identify how you’re feeling and why; ability to constructively channel anger, love, fear, hope; ability to focus on positive things in your life; ability to find your meaning and purpose.
  2. Mental/Intellectual Well-Being: How can you stay mentally stimulated? Be creative in learning new concepts; expanding knowledge, skills, trying new hobbies; opening your mind to new ideas and experiences that can benefit your personal and professional life.
  3. Physical Well-Being: What aspects do you need to care for? (i.e. balanced nutrition, proper hydration, regular exercise, breathing techniques, healthy sleeping habits)
  4. Spiritual Well-Being: What helps you stay connected with your inner self? Cultivating inner peace? Practicing gratitude, meditation, contemplation, and prayer. Developing contentment? Being in nature? Growing your faith in your Loving Higher Power?
  5. Social Well-Being: What helps you feel close or connected with others? Having supportive relationships add value to our and other people’s lives. This is one of the strongest predictors of well-being.

At the end of each day, reflect on:

What have I done today that has given me a sense of accomplishment? Pleasure? Closeness with others? How can I find a healthy balance between work and play, between being active and resting? Am I making time for things I enjoy? Look to create balance? What can I do differently tomorrow?

Inner Peace: 6 Easy Tips

True inner peace is independent of external conditions and circumstances.

Inner peace is available only through looking inward, and can only and ever occur in the present moment.

Here are 6 simple tools to tap into your INNER PEACE

1. Meditate Every Day
Even if its for 5 minutes. Take out the time to breathe and just Be. Stop the inner noise, and find inner silence.

“I discovered the secret of the sea in meditation upon a dewdrop.” Kahlil Gibran

2. Develop Your Spiritual Practice 

Since you are unique, your practice needs to be unique to you. A spiritual practice can come in a thousand shapes and colors. There are no boundaries, no rule-books, and no right or wrong way to do it. Spirituality is simply a connection with your highest self, with your true purpose in life, with finding the path that brings you peace.

3. Read Uplifting Literature

Before going to bed, read something motivational or inspirational. It calms your mind, uplifts your spirit, and will even help you to get a good night’s sleep.

4. Engage In Daily Prayers

Make time to connect to your understanding of a loving Higher Power, and release your worries. Trust you’re not alone. Trust there’s a Higher Power with a Higher Purpose. Be like a child in the hands of a loving parent, where you can relax your mind, emotions, and soul.

5. Commune With Mother Nature

Get out for a 5-minute walk every day. Set the intention to notice the green trees, the flowers, the birds, the sky. You will come back recharged, and calm.

6.  Practice Affirmations
a) Repeat or create your own affirmations. “May I be filled with serenity. May I be safe from inner and outer dangers. May I be well in body and mind. May I be at ease and peace.”

b) “I am Divinely protected. I am Divinely guided”

In the words of Eckhart Tolle: You find peace not by rearranging the circumstances of your life, but by realizing who you are at the deepest level.” 

Practicing Resilience

REFLECTING ON RESILIENCE: 

In a nutshell, resilience can be defined as is the remarkable ability of humans to adapt when faced with adversity, as well as the ability to “bounce back” from disappointment- failure- loss, feeling stronger, wiser, and more determined than ever.
Resilience is about experiencing all of the negative, difficult, and distressing events that life throws at you while staying on task, optimistic, and high-functioning.

Here are 5 coaching tools I am focusing on to enhance RESILIENCE:

1) Reframe your mindset from victim to survivor: “I CAN DO THIS”, “I AM GOING TO MAKE IT NO, MATTER WHAT”. Become accountable and use whatever resources you have at hand. Affirm that you’re strong and capable enough to face anything life throws at you.

2) Accessing & Sustaining Positivity
When you withdraw your attention from negativity (stop feeding it energy, but at the same time not struggling against it) and instead give your attention to positivity, it can start to naturally displace the negatives.

A resilient person can overcome the devastating feelings of the crisis without getting stuck in the cycle of desperation and negativity.
Staying positive does not mean that things will turn out okay. Rather it is knowing that you will be okay no matter how things turn out.” – unknown

3)  Stop and think to make rational decisions: 
In the midst of the crisis or an unforeseen event, it’s easy to be compulsive, have poor judgment, and make wrong decisions. Train yourself to stop, analyze, and then decide.

4) Have Faith:  Trust that God, the Universe, or your own understanding of a Higher Power, will always conspire to contribute with you, and provide you with everything you need, in the hardest moments. Cultivate unbreakable faith.

5) Practice Affirmations: 
“I have the strength and courage to get through any situation.”
“I am flexible and can adapt when life doesn’t go according to plan”.
“I am Divinely protected. I am Divinely guided”

What do you tell yourself to build resilience?

However,it is not so easy for everyone, to take that step forward in times of crisis, and that is why I want to offer you my coaching services, to support you. Together we’ll develop the correct attitude, discover your strengths, work in the habits that limit you, and bring forth your talents, strengths and passions so that you can get the life you want.

In the words of Charles Darwin, “It is not the strongest of the species that survives . It is the one that is most adaptable to change.”

Wish you Love, Strength, Freedom, Health and Success !

In Gratitude,

Vero Vidal

5 Steps for Letting Go

Letting go is about accepting what is happening right now, and not worrying about what will come up tomorrow.

Fully accepting the situation as it is without constantly wishing it would be different, is the way to get on the road of being OK. And this isn’t limited to accepting situations. We have to start to accept people for who they are as well.

Remember, every day we have a choice to keep on holding on just a little longer or conclude that today is the day we will finally let go.

What do you want to let go of?  …anger?… fear?… resentment?…judgment?… sadness? the past?… the need to be right?… the need to control?… guilt? …the need to ask for advice?…addiction? … the need to be a victim? …

Think about it what in your life, is no longer serving you?

HOW TO WORK ON LETTING GO?

Here’s a 5 step process you can work through to loosen the grip and “let go”:

  1. Close your eyes and take ten deep breaths to calm and center yourself. Just allow your body to breathe however it needs to.
  2. When you feel calm, think about the thing you want to let go of, the thing you want to release. Feel the feelings that come up.  Don’t hold anything back.
  3. Focus on the strongest feeling. Exactly where do you feel it in your body?  All emotions create homes in our bodies which create physical sensations (pain, heat, cold, numbness, tightness, etc.).
  4. Open your eyes and start writing whatever comes up for you in a journal. Pen and paper work best for this process (no electronics).
  5. In your journal, answer these questions:  What do you want to let go of?  What patterns would you rather not repeat?  Can you see the difficult experience differently? What would you gain by letting go of this particular issue?

This process is like peeling an onion. In order to give your subconscious mind time to work, repeat this process on a weekly basis until you feel that you can truly let go and move forward.

However, it is not so easy for everyone, to take LET GO and move forward,  and that is why I want to offer you my coaching services, to support you. Together we’ll develop the correct attitude, discover what is holding you back, how to come into the present, and work in the habits that limit you so that you can enjoy what is unfolding right in front of you so that you can have the life you want!

Wish you Love, Strength, Freedom, Health, and Success!

In Gratitude,

Vero Vidal

 

Reflecting On Gratitude In Times of Hardship

Several studies have found that more grateful people experience less depression and are more resilient following traumatic events. Multiple studies have found that people with higher levels of dispositional gratitude have signs of better psychological health, including higher levels of perceived social support and lower levels of stress, depression, and anxiety.

Let me share 4 coaching tools I am focusing on to cultivate GRATITUDE:

1) Keep a Gratitude Journal. This is the most basic and powerful practice in all of Positive Psychology. There has not been a single text on happiness published in the past decade that does not mention this exercise. Every day, write down three blessings from the past 24 hours. Pencil and paper or online journal work equally well.

2) Offer a Prayer of Thanks. Robert Emmons, in his 2007 book, “thanks!” says that 70% of people surveyed (all religions combined) pray daily. Those who say ‘thank you’ more often than ‘please give me….’ experience higher life satisfaction.

3) Accept your situation. See beyond self-denial. Instead, accept your current situation. Sometimes it helps to accept a loss. This means accepting what you don’t have currently, and doing the best you can with what you have. This makes you ready to take in anything life throws at you.

4) Include others into your expression of gratitude. By focusing our gratitude on individuals that we are thankful for (and not material items or specific circumstances) we enhance the benefits of our gratitude. Give a detailed description of what this person did for you, and what impact they have created in your life.

“Everything that happens to us has a blessing built into it.” ~ Dr. Wayne Dyer

I sincerely hope these reminders are of service to you.